Diaries Of a Dirty Open Mic-er - April

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April bloggggggg

This is being written late. Why? I dunno, does anybody really care if it is late? Not me. This has turned into a chore a little. I do enjoy it when I write it, but the deadline of it annoys me. Especially when it’s basically the same thing over and over again with the same title. The only difference being the month in which it was written.

Fuck, that is a rather bleak start to this. If you managed to get through that, I apologies. The problem is that I didn’t write it after every gig like I was supposed to. The gig wasn’t fresh in my mind, and how it went is now nothing but a distant memory. I will endeavor to remember times that I have done well and times that I have bombed.

This would be better if I bombed more—although maybe slightly depressing, as bombing does suck. It is, however, hilarious to watch somebody bomb. In an empathetic way, it is great that you can see their pain, and to be fair, pain is rather funny to watch. It’s why slapstick comedy is so fun. Or when a friend falls over—especially when it is somebody that likes to conduct themselves with grace.

I remember when I was young, me and my friends used to swing from a tree branch from one side of a river to the other. For years we did this, but then they built a bridge and there was no longer any reason to use the branch. I’m sure other people used it after that, but we didn’t. One day we decided to go the old route and we swung across. My friend gripped onto the branch and it snapped clean off and he fell into the river. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen and, because he wasn’t seriously injured, the laughter was in good taste. It would be hard to talk about if he was seriously injured… sat by his bed… “that was pretty funny dude”… he can’t answer because he’s in a coma.

Anyyyywayyyy, moving on to the gigs that I had this month—ohhh what a wonderful month of gigging it has been. It is going too fast, if anything! It’ll be Edinburgh Fringe time soon and I’ll not be ready. I’ve got Brighton soon with a grand total of 1 ticket sold. And that’s a maybe.

Anyway, gigs

This month I did 12 gigs yayyyyyyy!!! And I’ve been very lucky that people have been offering me a chance to do some longer spots—20s—which has been really enjoyable and, for the most part, going rather well.I did have more gigs locked in to perform at. Unfortunately, I had to give a couple of them that were far away a miss, even though I was looking forward to them, because I didn’t get paid too much money in my day job. I ended up unable to travel far for gigs that did not pay. It’s my new attitude—I’m too good to not be paid now…Nahh, that attitude makes me sick. One day it may be true (or not) that I’m too good, but that it is a career and I can’t afford to go somewhere and not get paid. Kinda the same as now except I don’t earn enough money from this to survive. Just in case the tax man is reading… little bugger is always about somewhere.

Ropey Comedy – Was very pleased that it went so well. I was very surprised that it went so well. When I arrived in Bristol, I saw a seagull eating a pigeon and thought ahhh that’s probably not good. But I was wrong, so now I’ve been going to every show hoping to see that as a symbol of a prosperous gig. My performance: 6/10

Warhampton gig – This is a gig I run now yayyyyy… I’ll be honest, I walked in and thought nope… but turned out to be a big fat yesss!!! It was class. The punters were seriously up for it—so up for it they made my mediocre MC skills look like I was a genius! That’s how up for it they were. Everybody there crushed it, it was awesome.I don’t count my own gigs when I MC.

Belgium and Blues – Another one of my gigs!! Did rather well again—lovely, lovely crowd. My performance: 6/10

The Snug – Another one of my gigs!!! CRAZY. Looks like I just do my own gigs, doesn’t it? And to be fair, nobody is out there offering you stuff on a silver platter. Gotta get in there and do it for yourself. It’s a great way to maintain regular gigs. It has its positives and negatives, but mostly positive. My performance: 6/10

Bournemouth Canvas – Went great. I had a great set. I was not expecting it, especially since when I was watching the MC throw everything he had at them and I thought he was superb and that his jokes deserved far more than the laughs they got. He was witty and insightful and pulled attention to what was supposed to happen in a humorous way. Honestly, he deserved much, much more! A gent by the name of Ed Mulvey. But yeah, went really well! Performance: 6/10

The Swan – Cannot remember how this went—probably badly, which is why I can’t remember… blocked it out of my mind!

Swindon – Went well. Not amazing, but well. The audience seemed to want more interaction than I was willing to give. Did 20 minutes. It went well, but a better act definitely would have done a better job!My performance: 5/10

Belgium and Blues again – Horrible, horrible time… it was tough for most people, but a couple did really well—and one of them was not me… It was good because in some cases the audience were rather honest, but also looking around the room, I saw a few times people laughing and the other person they were with judging them for laughing, which is ridiculous… but that makes a big difference. Which is why darkness and closeness at a comedy gig is key—when you don’t know where the laughter is or who is laughing, it makes you more free to laugh at what you want…Also no excuses—I was probably just shit. Performance: 3/10

The Snug again – Same set as Belgium and Blues… different venue… crushed it!My performance: 8/10

Follow comedy club – Same performance as Belgium and Blues, and The Snug… crushed it!My performance: 8/10

Exeter – The Surgery – An unbelievable gig. I was privileged to do a 15-minute set here and it was a beautiful time. Massive, up-for-it audience! I had a great time. I would say that my performance was good but my ending was a little weak, honestly. Performance: 5.5/10

The Swan again – Bombed my tits off, but it’s fine, I’ll just hate myself. Performance: 3/10

The Kiss Arse Section

This was actually one of my favorite sections of this blog, but I haven’t done it in a long while. Not because I don’t want to, but mainly because I just haven’t been paying much attention. Which is a shame, because there is a lot of inspiration that you can take from other comedians, and they will also tell you what the room is reacting to etc. I will endeavor to pay more attention from this moment on.

One person that I thought was great, as said already in the blog (despite not getting the response I felt he deserved), is Ed Mulvey. He might disagree, or he might agree—I don’t know. I don’t really know the guy. All I can say is I thought he was excellent.

Other than that, everybody I saw was horse shit! So if you want the approval of a nobody in the comedy world like me, then you best shape up!

Thanks for reading!